I felt really overwhelmed after Taylor left. It is my first time going through a deployment and I had no idea where to start as silly as that sounds. How am I going to survive all these months? What am I supposed to do to pass the time? How do I go back to “normal” life again?
Continue reading Deployment Diaries: Six Ways to Make the Time Fly
*For the safety of my sailor and his boat, there are no dates, locations or names posted. The article has been written and posted after his underway was long done and over. OPSEC for the win.
I have been very fortunate in the fact that, for the first two years of this adventure, I have been able to speak to my sailor on the daily minus bootcamp of course. I actually forgot what it was like to not speak to him for more than 24 hours. After he graduated from all of his schooling, he came home for a month of leave, left for his first duty station and shortly after came the first underway. For those of you that don’t know, underways are like mini deployments that only last maybe a month or two at most.
This was like bootcamp all over again. And it sucked. He said his goodbyes over text to me and that was it. So began the first underway.
To Whom It May Concern,
“And everyone I talk to out here says to just end it now because these relationships never work.”
My heart, filled with anger and sadness, sank to the bottom of my gut after reading what my boyfriend had just texted me.
You told him that I wouldn’t be able to handle the 4,000 miles between us. I won’t be able to handle his busy schedule you said. It is a guarantee that I will cheat you said. Because I chose to not move in with him the relationship will surely fail you said.
…
I realize, that to the military, I am nothing. Not his family. Not his wife. I am just a girlfriend. I do not matter to the United States military.
Of this, I am fully aware.
But shame on you for assuming what kind of woman I am. Shame on you for filling my boyfriend’s head with worry and his heart with sadness.
And while I am filled with hurt, I also have gratitude towards you. Thank you for putting a fire in my heart and a determination in my soul to make this distance work.
Watch me handle deployments with grace and love. Watch me have the patience and understanding to deal with our differing work schedules. I hope you get to witness the care packages he will get along with the constant flow of emails, letters and funny cards. I had the strength to stay back home so I could enhance my career and finish my schooling so that I wouldn’t have to rely on the military for money. So, watch me not cheat on him or use him for his military paycheck because I took the time to establish myself.
And, unfortunately, while what you keep driving into his head has an impact what I have to say to him has a greater one. Little do you know how strong my boy is and how much love he has for me.
You bringing our relationship down gave me the opportunity to relive with him all the beautiful memories that we have had, the ones that have made us laugh until we cried. And with those memories came the pictures: the happiest pictures of us on our anniversary, that one that I made a stupid face by the river, pictures from every single graduation he has had. All to remind him that even when we were thousands of miles apart we were never truly far from each other.
So, I thank you. For you made us stronger and you sparked a passion in me to be the best “girl back home” that I can be.
Love always,
A dedicated and strong military girlfriend
You’ve just spent this amazing few weeks with your SO filled with lots of love, companionship, laughter, fun-filled plans and parties. Then no sooner do they get back that you find yourself back at the airport waving goodbye with tear-soaked eyes and a snot-filled tissue in your non-waving hand. Then there is the drive home from the airport that you don’t really remember too much because of all the thinking you have done during that time. Then before you know it, you are standing in the front door of your house and you have no clue what to do.
Sound familiar?
Continue reading How to Get Back On Your Feet After They Leave
Military relationships are not Dear John. It’s not romantic. It’s not wonderful. When you ask a little girl where she sees herself one day, most likely, the answer will not be sleeping in a bed by herself while her husband is fighting a war and her kids are asking where daddy is.
Most people already understand that so it’s no surprise that I often get asked the question, “Why would you ever put yourself through that?”
I asked myself that same question when I first met Taylor. We met at a small gathering of friends and he kept talking about leaving for bootcamp in a few weeks and how excited he was. Being a military girlfriend was never in my plans and I never even thought about what it would be like. Actually, believe it or not, it was a deal breaker for me.
But our second date was when I saw Taylor. And I don’t mean literally. I had my contacts in that first time and could see just fine. I saw what kind of person he was. After that second date I felt like I had just met my best friend. It was the best and easiest date that I had ever been on. I drove home and battled with my previous thoughts and what I considered to be a deal breaker.
I didn’t choose the military. I wasn’t on the hunt for a single, military man. I really don’t like the long distance and the worry. I don’t want him to be deployed. I don’t want to move far away from my family and be alone a good majority of the time. I hate that one day I will have to explain to my kids why their dad can’t be at their sports tournament. I didn’t ask for any of that.
But I did choose him. And that’s where people start to lose understanding. I chose to be with someone who works hard and who treats me better than anyone. If I was going to live 1,000 miles from anyone, I wanted it to be him. And no one I have ever met was worth me leaving my little hometown until I met Taylor. And if my kids had any father, any man to look up to, I’d want it to be a man who works hard, loves his family and loves his country too. A man that is courageous in both heart and spirit.
I don’t want any sympathy. I didn’t want a military relationship so I could be the victim. I didn’t want this so I could go out and see other men but still have the security of a relationship.
When you love a person, and I mean truly love a person, you take the good with the bad. Being a military girlfriend wasn’t ideal for me but all the other good things far outweighed any anxieties I had.
I chose to love another with everything that I have…even if he chooses to wear a uniform.
My parents are the kind of people that literally have everything which makes holidays a bit of a challenge. Gift cards get old. Clothes are boring. And this year for Father’s Day I wanted to do something different. Something hands on and from the heart.
My father owns a business and his office is right next to my bedroom. I went in there the other day and noticed that he has absolutely no place to put pens or any other writing utensil for that matter. They all kind of just hung out in a pile off to the side.
Hence, a pencil holder… which is inexpensive to make and actually kind of fun (I spent an hour and half at Michael’s planning this thing out!).
What you’ll need:
A jar or can- I chose a mason jar but you can use cardboard, go to the craft store and pick up a wooden container, anything!
Paint- I chose to use acrylic.
Paintbrush
Decorations- This is where you get to be extra creative! I thought about putting a picture of me and my dad on there, you can grab extra paint and paint on decorations, get ribbons to tie around the top, glitter, stickers, etc. I chose to buy some decorative gears at Michael’s to paste on along with a sticker that I can write, “I Love You” on.
Glue- Make sure to buy something that dries clear in case you get glue somewhere that it’s not supposed to go. Tacky Glue worked wonders for me!
I bought everything at Micheal’s for a grand total of $15.28. Print out a coupon off their website and it’ll be even cheaper!
Step one: Paint your container
Lay out some newspaper on a table and get the paint ready to use on a plate. I wet my brush and painted on one layer, waited an hour and painted another layer. I continued to do this until I was satisfied with the color and what it looked like. Let it completely dry over night.
Step two: Add the decorations
Pretty simple step. Start adding on you decorations! Plan out where you’d like things to go, whip out the Tacky Glue and start sticking!
Let the holder dry for another day before handling it.
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