The Three Things You Need To Be A Military Significant Other

For two years I have had more people than I can count ask me, “How do you do it?”

And I have never had an answer. I didn’t really know how, I just did.

But after two years of getting asked this question and then asking myself, “Yeah… how the hell do I do this?” on my car rides back home I have finally come up with the answer.

So, here it goes. The three things that you need to have in order to be a military girlfriend:

Burnt Pineapples and Some Thoughts on Life

 

Today is Memorial Day.

I love Memorial Day.

I love that there is an entire day set aside to being thankful for the ultimate sacrifice that one can give for their country. An entire day to relax and hangout at the pool or have some drinks and burgers with family and friends.

I had an okay day today. I took a kickboxing class. I went to the grocery store with my mother. I watched The Jungle Book with my dad and ate some delicious food. After dinner, I put some pineapples on a skewer, drizzled some maple syrup and cinnamon on it and took it outside to grill.

My face crinkled with concentration so that I wouldn’t catch myself on fire. I carefully placed the skewers in opposite directions on the grill and then sat in an outside rocking chair that we have. The chair rocked back and forth and for a few minutes I looked at my phone and waited for my pineapple to cook.

A raindrop on my knee interrupted my Facebook scrolling and I turned away from my phone to look up at the sky. The clouds were dark and the sun was setting and it was breath taking.

As my eyes grazed the sky, it occurred to me how wonderful life is. The clouds suddenly became a little blurry as a tiny tear welled up in my eye. I thought about how lucky I am. How I have amazing friends. Most of my family has passed away but I felt so blessed to still have my parents. I work at a job that I love with people that I’ve come to know as friends. I have the most beautiful relationship with one of the most beautiful souls I have ever come to know.

Seven Hacks to Healthier, Homecoming-Ready Skin

When I was younger I had horrible skin. Look closely at the pictures above and you can see the splotches all over my chin, forehead and cheeks. We are talking acne, painful and red, and lots of dry, dead skin.  I remember one time I had a pimple on the edge of my lip that honestly looked like I had a Skittle embedded in my skin and it was so bad that it was uncomfortable to eat. I had no choice but to pop it because I was so hungry but I didn’t want to eat because it hurt…I had no idea my pores could hold all the crap that came out.
But enough with the gross stuff! I decided then that I wanted better skin. The last thing I wanted to worry about when my sailor came home was what shape my skin was in and how it was going to look in the millions of pictures we’d be taking. While my skin still isn’t 100% perfect and I am no dermatologist, I have tested multiple products, theories and Cosmopolitan magazine articles to find the best! The top list of things that gave me much better, healthier skin.

A Sailor’s Letter to His Girl Back Home

“I need to tell you something. Before I get into it, I want you to know the reason I am telling you this. I want you to save this or screenshot this or whatever it takes to hold onto this for a couple different reasons.

When you have days where you need a little extra lovin’, I want you to look at this. When we are in the midst of a disagreement, I want you to look at this. When I am deployed and gone and you haven’t heard from me in days or weeks, I want you to look at this.

You, my dear, are the absolute greatest thing that’s ever happened to me. Either there’s no scale of comparison or if I put you on a scale, nothing else comes close. You have been my rock, paper and scissors. When I needed someone to just bitch, moan and groan to, you have been there to listen. Whether it’s literally been just to hear and say nothing or to give advice, you’ve been there to lean on.

When I’ve felt broken or defeated, you’ve told me it’ll be okay and you’ve motivated me to push forward and you’ve held me together. When I’ve been wrong or been an asshole, you’ve been there to tear me apart (in a good sense) and make me grow as a man and mature and learn to admit when I am wrong.

I’m not going to lie, I think most people do this in relationships but I’ve searched for something about you that I don’t love and I haven’t found a thing. Not. One. Damn. Thing.

We have our disagreements, we have our fights, we have our near break ups but I wouldn’t trade it for the world and there is no other girl I’d rather struggle through life with than you.

I love that we don’t have everything in common. If we did, it’d be boring. We’d have nothing to introduce each other to.

I love your independence. I am more than willing to support you on anything you need but I love the fire inside you that drives you to support yourself.

I love your laugh. I remember the first time I heard it and fell in love with it. It was the first time you visited me in Charleston and that guy dropped his gas can on the expressway.

…You fit perfectly in my arms. I love your thighs. They are the perfect drumming pads when we’re jamming in the car. I love holding your hand and kissing your cheek in public. I want the world to know that I am the luckiest man alive to call you mine.

I love your dedication to me and my job. Your constant support and sacrifice is unwavering and I am undeserving yet everyday it’s there without hesitation.

I love your career progression. You are finding yourself and your purpose and fighting through all the obstacles that stand in your way.

I love that you are the strongest person in my life and in the world. You balance so many curveballs day in and day out but wake up every day ready to swing away.

I love that you are mine. I love that you are my definition of perfection and you are on my side. Through all the ups and downs, through the brutal fights from miles apart, I wouldn’t trade a second of it. I want to do everything there is to do, see everything there is to see in the world with you.

To summarize all of this in three words, I love you.”

Seven Ways to Help Alleviate the Fear of Being Cheated On

I hear all the stories. The ones where a sailor comes home and the house that once held his valuables, his life and his wife is now completely vacant. The girl who waited at home and kept the house and kids up and running for months at a time finds out her deployed husband cheated. I have even heard recently that women wait at ports to try and persuade military men into sleeping with them.

*Shudders*

Frustration and the Navy Girlfriend

Last week I was supposed to be at Disney World meeting Mickey Mouse for the first time in my life.  However, Taylor’s graduation got pushed back so that plan flew right out the window. After that, we planned out this big road trip stopping at all the beautiful places we have always wanted to see before he gets deployed. I got time off from my job and I started making reservations for all the things we wanted to do. Taylor’s leave got pushed back a second time and the whole road trip went out the window….again.

An Open Letter to the Military Girlfriend I Was Two Years Ago

Dear you,

I know exactly how you feel. You’re standing on your front lawn in your bare feet, the March sun beaming on your head. He’s walking away and all your left with is the Navy shirt that he got when he enlisted and your hand on your lips because he just kissed you for the first time…and last time for the next nine weeks of bootcamp. This moment that you are experiencing right now will be your first memory of being a military girlfriend. And that feeling you are having is going to become a normality in your life. The goodbyes are going to become a regular occurrence.

Book Review: Five Military Love Languages by Gary Chapman

When me and Taylor first started dating it was all rainbows and roses. Gifts were regularly sent to my house. Our letters to each other seemed like they were taken out of your favorite romance novel or movie. I woke up every morning to at least a three page text with words of how wonderful of a human being I am and how in love he is with me.

Then life started to set in and there went our “honeymoon” phase. No more random gifts and no gifts for even Valentine’s Day. The random cards in the mail started to dwindle. The long texts became just a few words.

The Horrors of My Boyfriend’s 12-hour Shifts and How I Deal With Them

….I have a phone full of these kinds of messages. The only time Taylor has a chance to talk is late at night but I have to go to sleep early because I wake up early to go to work. I text Taylor for maybe 30 minutes in the morning and then I get the message that he is leaving for work.

Now, don’t get me wrong, he is very sweet in telling me to have a good day and reminding me that I’m loved everyday. I like that about him but I absolutely hate getting these messages because I know what it means: another 12 hours of not talking.

…Which really sucks. He’s my best friend and all this stuff in my life is happening and I’m sure he has a lot on his mind and I can’t tell him any of it because he is always gone. This frustrates me, infuriates me at times even. But over the past few months, I have learned a thing or two about dealing with this…

My New Years Eve…In Pictures!

Christmas was great and everything but what I really wanted was for it to be December 28th, particularly at 7am when Taylor’s plane would land. Like a kid on Christmas, I couldn’t sleep the night before and I got up at 5 am to go pick up my boy.